Quote from
Gerhard on October 16, 2024, 11:18 am
My second report — and this time the DMT was much, much stronger. My feeling overall is that big doses of DMT is not for beginners!
I actually prepared 10 grams of Acacia Acuminata, but as I was slowly ingesting it over 20 minutes, I had an intuition that this experience may be stronger than last time. It was good I listened to that intuition! I only ended up eating about 5 or 6 grams (the previous dose was 5 grams, and quite a mild experience). I'm not sure why this time was 20x stronger. I did take a larger dose of Syrian Rue at 4 grams rather than 3, and I also boiled it longer too. Last time I also drank the Syrian Rue and ate the acacia directly thereafter — this time I waited 40 minutes after taking the Syrian Rue before ingesting the acacia. In any case, this was much stronger. I advise people to be careful with dosing when they start out. If I had taken 10 grams, that could have been scary.
Onto the details now:
As the psychedelic was coming up strong, my by body perception became wildly askew. I was sitting in siddhasana, but my body felt as though it tipping over like jelly. No nausea at all again, which is great — thanks to the ginger I suspect.
Soon, weird visuals came up. But not unpleasant per se. I recently watched the Platform 1 and 2 with my girlfriend. That is actually a really powerful R18 rated movie, and my mind visited this film many times during the experience. I won't analyse that movie in full here, as this could be a whole 10 page essay by itself — but I was relating how tough and unkind the world can be. Eg. the depths of human suffering for a meth addict. My mind went deep into the occult forces of the world — I always try to assume these occult visions are internal to my mind — projecting occult intuitions is very dangerous in my opinion. I was thinking of the Aghori's, and how their lives compare to the worshippers of Light instead. I also saw extremely strong occult images when thinking of the music industry. All of this was extremely visual, and death and mutilation scenes were very graphic. Now, this happened largely at the start of the experience, when I still had a lot of mental endurance. I know what to do when these themes get too strong. A mantra.
Soon into my experience, I announced the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra. I have used this many times in the past, and internalised it deeply. But on this occasion, I was absolutely amazed by the power of this force. It was the most poised and powerful force I have every experienced. Stronger than the "gods" is the rishis. In this case Merkandea, I believe. This mantra generally stabilised myself, and it allowed me to see the terror stored within the kundalini of my body (this is important to me, as projecting evil onto the world is a fallacy that is easy to fall into). And gratefully, this terror felt like it was being deeply healed. This was not a traumatic experience at all.
Themes of work and society were also very prominent. I recently quit a job, which I truly, deeply hated. The job was not so bad on paper, but I was seeing here all the occult forces involved. It is hard to explain, and this stretches into all of society. A "race to the bottom" theme was clear, where society is so busy rushing around increasing GDP or whatnot, but we are destroying our planet. All of this harks back to the movie of the Platform also. These feelings were legitimate to a degree, but I was also questioning myself. Am I just lazy? Or entitled. Ultimately, I could feel the occult wires in my body, but also a possibility to be free from all of that.
Another big topic was self doubt on writing this trip report! This website overall, and making videos about Ayahuasca. Is this dangerous to recommend to other people? Should I dedicate my life to spreading Enlightenment? Is this a fools errand? Is it prideful? Will my enthusiasm send some people to the mental ward? This DMT was strong! I could easily see people losing their sanity from the dose I had, nevermind larger doses! I ultimately had deep feelings that I want to continue with this website and trip reports, but in a way that promotes low and responsible doses.
Onwards, there is still a lot to cover. After the initial ride of awe was stabilised through these themes above, I decided to focus on Shambhavi. Amazing things happened, as I would expect. First, I had a direct visual of an ugly occult force at my brow. This is common, and I have felt something similar to this years before on LSD. I believe the occult beings literally fight for their survival, as they know Shambhavi is their end. A repetition of the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra cleaned that out. From here I went astral. There is a lot to mention, but these experiences had a very high hertz rate. That is to say, a lot happened in a second or two. Of interest, I ran into some "praying mantas" beings. They felt entirely unthreatening. I was surprised how fast their communication was with each other and myself. In the order of 2 seconds or so, I could see how us humans are struggling with our primitive computers! The intelligence of these beings are far beyond anything us humans have. This is actually literally true in insects. Our smartest computers and machines are primate compared to a literal praying mantas, a bee, or an ant.
In Shambhavi, I also experienced the Sun a few times. At one point, I had a such a clear astrological vision, where my karma was being determined by planets spinning around in a solar system. To clarify though, I assume this is entirely internal to my mind, I don't want to jump to conclusions of the actual planets determining my fate. I have visited Chidambaram temple a couple of years ago. In that complex, there is a very old and quite small arrangement of lingams dedicated to the planets Somehow, my mind was strongly connected to that place. I started to really consider the gifts given to humanity by Higher Beings. For instance, the Bible. I had the Bible open in front of me at Ecclesiastes. This is hard to describe, but I felt a wind of spiritual energy washing through the book, and felt like I was in contact with the author of that book. The theme of how hard it is to bring peace into this world was very prominent. Indeed, I was wondering if the point of the Earth is even Peace? Is the brutal reality of life somehow a gift to our souls? Deep questions I could not get all the answers to.
Moving onwards, I had a few captivating visions of a karmic wheel. I really want to explore that more. I could feel at this point that I need to be patient. Exploring these new dimensions needs to be done over the period of some years.
At a certain point, as amazing as all of this had been, I turned to the question of God. None of this was God entirely. This was a landscape, but God superseded all of this. I did not have some sudden breakthrough on this topic, but the magnitude of God was larger than I have typically conceptualised before. I did also have the wonderful experience of aweing at existence and consciousness itself. How powerful and great is God to hold and contain, to have created, and to keep 'rendering' all of these dimensions! Keeping track of single every atom? Loving every single soul. Wow.
At around this point, my mental endurance started to wain. I was wanting the experience to be over, and I wanted to go to sleep, to be honest. I stayed disciplined for another 40 minutes or so, and simply sat in Siddhasana doing Shambhavi. I never did enter kechari, but my the cartilage area did start to flutter like a butterfly. I have had experienced this before. As much as I adore the kechari mudra, I can tell that I need to focus on my lower body for some time. I also had some experiences of my kundalini shifting from all that occult-vibes prementioned into pleasure and gratitude. That is, life felt beautiful and wonderful.
Very suddenly! I was hit with an absolute wave of sleepiness. This was around 1 a.m. or so. This was extremely unpleasant for a little while. As I was mentally fatigued, I was struggling to hold Shambhavi. Closing my eyes were giving extremely strong visuals, but confusing ones. The vibe wasn't one of revelation at this point, but confusion. I had a reflection that my mind needed to surrender, and simply hold onto a mantra. It felt like I was going through a tumble dryer or weird experiences, and my mind was totally tired. I simply kept sitting, repeating the mantra, and focusing on Shambhavi as best I could. After some time, the feelings became relaxed again, and I was having interesting visuals of a portal above my head. There were a lot of visuals of pyramids, their peak meeting at my third eye. This I have also experienced in the past on LSD.
After some time, I went to bed. It was still very strong, and I was laying in bed unable to sleep for another couple of hours. My sausage dogs were with me! They are such loving creatures. One of them came to sleep with me, but first, kissed my ear, rolled next to my face, and then went under the blanket. I felt so close them and their souls. They are entirely dependant on me, and trust me fully. Their worth is beyond materialism. Laying in bed felt good, and I was feeling grateful for my girlfriend too. We had a very deep discussion earlier in the day about religion, which I deeply valued.
And that about wraps it up. I hope it makes some kind of sense! It is actually a bit of work to structure all of those experiences into a readable form.
I am excited to do another dose. Honestly, I don't feel like I need to ramp up the dose. This experience was s strong, it blew my socks off. At least one of socks. I can't imagine if I had double, as I initially planned!
My second report — and this time the DMT was much, much stronger. My feeling overall is that big doses of DMT is not for beginners!
I actually prepared 10 grams of Acacia Acuminata, but as I was slowly ingesting it over 20 minutes, I had an intuition that this experience may be stronger than last time. It was good I listened to that intuition! I only ended up eating about 5 or 6 grams (the previous dose was 5 grams, and quite a mild experience). I'm not sure why this time was 20x stronger. I did take a larger dose of Syrian Rue at 4 grams rather than 3, and I also boiled it longer too. Last time I also drank the Syrian Rue and ate the acacia directly thereafter — this time I waited 40 minutes after taking the Syrian Rue before ingesting the acacia. In any case, this was much stronger. I advise people to be careful with dosing when they start out. If I had taken 10 grams, that could have been scary.
Onto the details now:
As the psychedelic was coming up strong, my by body perception became wildly askew. I was sitting in siddhasana, but my body felt as though it tipping over like jelly. No nausea at all again, which is great — thanks to the ginger I suspect.
Soon, weird visuals came up. But not unpleasant per se. I recently watched the Platform 1 and 2 with my girlfriend. That is actually a really powerful R18 rated movie, and my mind visited this film many times during the experience. I won't analyse that movie in full here, as this could be a whole 10 page essay by itself — but I was relating how tough and unkind the world can be. Eg. the depths of human suffering for a meth addict. My mind went deep into the occult forces of the world — I always try to assume these occult visions are internal to my mind — projecting occult intuitions is very dangerous in my opinion. I was thinking of the Aghori's, and how their lives compare to the worshippers of Light instead. I also saw extremely strong occult images when thinking of the music industry. All of this was extremely visual, and death and mutilation scenes were very graphic. Now, this happened largely at the start of the experience, when I still had a lot of mental endurance. I know what to do when these themes get too strong. A mantra.
Soon into my experience, I announced the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra. I have used this many times in the past, and internalised it deeply. But on this occasion, I was absolutely amazed by the power of this force. It was the most poised and powerful force I have every experienced. Stronger than the "gods" is the rishis. In this case Merkandea, I believe. This mantra generally stabilised myself, and it allowed me to see the terror stored within the kundalini of my body (this is important to me, as projecting evil onto the world is a fallacy that is easy to fall into). And gratefully, this terror felt like it was being deeply healed. This was not a traumatic experience at all.
Themes of work and society were also very prominent. I recently quit a job, which I truly, deeply hated. The job was not so bad on paper, but I was seeing here all the occult forces involved. It is hard to explain, and this stretches into all of society. A "race to the bottom" theme was clear, where society is so busy rushing around increasing GDP or whatnot, but we are destroying our planet. All of this harks back to the movie of the Platform also. These feelings were legitimate to a degree, but I was also questioning myself. Am I just lazy? Or entitled. Ultimately, I could feel the occult wires in my body, but also a possibility to be free from all of that.
Another big topic was self doubt on writing this trip report! This website overall, and making videos about Ayahuasca. Is this dangerous to recommend to other people? Should I dedicate my life to spreading Enlightenment? Is this a fools errand? Is it prideful? Will my enthusiasm send some people to the mental ward? This DMT was strong! I could easily see people losing their sanity from the dose I had, nevermind larger doses! I ultimately had deep feelings that I want to continue with this website and trip reports, but in a way that promotes low and responsible doses.
Onwards, there is still a lot to cover. After the initial ride of awe was stabilised through these themes above, I decided to focus on Shambhavi. Amazing things happened, as I would expect. First, I had a direct visual of an ugly occult force at my brow. This is common, and I have felt something similar to this years before on LSD. I believe the occult beings literally fight for their survival, as they know Shambhavi is their end. A repetition of the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra cleaned that out. From here I went astral. There is a lot to mention, but these experiences had a very high hertz rate. That is to say, a lot happened in a second or two. Of interest, I ran into some "praying mantas" beings. They felt entirely unthreatening. I was surprised how fast their communication was with each other and myself. In the order of 2 seconds or so, I could see how us humans are struggling with our primitive computers! The intelligence of these beings are far beyond anything us humans have. This is actually literally true in insects. Our smartest computers and machines are primate compared to a literal praying mantas, a bee, or an ant.
In Shambhavi, I also experienced the Sun a few times. At one point, I had a such a clear astrological vision, where my karma was being determined by planets spinning around in a solar system. To clarify though, I assume this is entirely internal to my mind, I don't want to jump to conclusions of the actual planets determining my fate. I have visited Chidambaram temple a couple of years ago. In that complex, there is a very old and quite small arrangement of lingams dedicated to the planets Somehow, my mind was strongly connected to that place. I started to really consider the gifts given to humanity by Higher Beings. For instance, the Bible. I had the Bible open in front of me at Ecclesiastes. This is hard to describe, but I felt a wind of spiritual energy washing through the book, and felt like I was in contact with the author of that book. The theme of how hard it is to bring peace into this world was very prominent. Indeed, I was wondering if the point of the Earth is even Peace? Is the brutal reality of life somehow a gift to our souls? Deep questions I could not get all the answers to.
Moving onwards, I had a few captivating visions of a karmic wheel. I really want to explore that more. I could feel at this point that I need to be patient. Exploring these new dimensions needs to be done over the period of some years.
At a certain point, as amazing as all of this had been, I turned to the question of God. None of this was God entirely. This was a landscape, but God superseded all of this. I did not have some sudden breakthrough on this topic, but the magnitude of God was larger than I have typically conceptualised before. I did also have the wonderful experience of aweing at existence and consciousness itself. How powerful and great is God to hold and contain, to have created, and to keep 'rendering' all of these dimensions! Keeping track of single every atom? Loving every single soul. Wow.
At around this point, my mental endurance started to wain. I was wanting the experience to be over, and I wanted to go to sleep, to be honest. I stayed disciplined for another 40 minutes or so, and simply sat in Siddhasana doing Shambhavi. I never did enter kechari, but my the cartilage area did start to flutter like a butterfly. I have had experienced this before. As much as I adore the kechari mudra, I can tell that I need to focus on my lower body for some time. I also had some experiences of my kundalini shifting from all that occult-vibes prementioned into pleasure and gratitude. That is, life felt beautiful and wonderful.
Very suddenly! I was hit with an absolute wave of sleepiness. This was around 1 a.m. or so. This was extremely unpleasant for a little while. As I was mentally fatigued, I was struggling to hold Shambhavi. Closing my eyes were giving extremely strong visuals, but confusing ones. The vibe wasn't one of revelation at this point, but confusion. I had a reflection that my mind needed to surrender, and simply hold onto a mantra. It felt like I was going through a tumble dryer or weird experiences, and my mind was totally tired. I simply kept sitting, repeating the mantra, and focusing on Shambhavi as best I could. After some time, the feelings became relaxed again, and I was having interesting visuals of a portal above my head. There were a lot of visuals of pyramids, their peak meeting at my third eye. This I have also experienced in the past on LSD.
After some time, I went to bed. It was still very strong, and I was laying in bed unable to sleep for another couple of hours. My sausage dogs were with me! They are such loving creatures. One of them came to sleep with me, but first, kissed my ear, rolled next to my face, and then went under the blanket. I felt so close them and their souls. They are entirely dependant on me, and trust me fully. Their worth is beyond materialism. Laying in bed felt good, and I was feeling grateful for my girlfriend too. We had a very deep discussion earlier in the day about religion, which I deeply valued.
And that about wraps it up. I hope it makes some kind of sense! It is actually a bit of work to structure all of those experiences into a readable form.
I am excited to do another dose. Honestly, I don't feel like I need to ramp up the dose. This experience was s strong, it blew my socks off. At least one of socks. I can't imagine if I had double, as I initially planned!
